May 2012 - More on Living the Love Lifestyle
Mayday starts the dance of Spring!
News from the
I hope your transition into spring and the many changes this time of new life can bring has been smooth. I'm still in flux, waiting for the pendulum of adjustment to find balance. It may be well into summer when I return to that place.
I did get some of the finishing touches done on my beautiful new website (www.CenterForClarity.org) before the major changes in my life overwhelmed my time. Since I'll have less freedom to access my work for a couple of weeks, newer things will be slow to show up for a while.
Please bear with me for access to the last two radio shows from the site location. You can still listen to or download them from VoiceAmerica.com. Also, the newest News from Center for Clarity may not be available from the site for another few weeks. If you'd like back issues before then, email me and I can send them to you.
No matter what kind of major life changes come our way during spring, we still tend to feel the pull of romance and mating in the air. According to the article we reviewed last month, "Are you Living the Love Lifestyle?" our life is our responsibility, including our love life.
Last month the main article outlined the authors' four recommendations for taking that responsibility. In this month's main article I'm throwing in my two cents. Other ideas are welcome and will be shared in future News from Center for Clarity. Next month we'll have a new article.
As always, I encourage you to use any information here that fits for you and pass on to others anything you think they can use. Make comments and ask questions by email or by visiting CenterForClarity.org. Any identifying information will be removed for publication.
Jenny Friend, MFT
Center for Clarity
Sacred Sexual Educator
Sensual Adult Toy Expert
Hear Sex and Relationship
It's UP! (on the Internet)
A Brand New Center For Clarity Website
Last month I introduced the article "Are You Living the Love Lifestyle"? It was written by experts, Dr. Lana and Johnny Fernandez and originally posted on YourTango.com on March 30, 2012.
They defined the Love Lifestyle as "living life at 100% now, knowing that life is a precious gift and can be taken away at any moment", regularly connecting with yourself and disconnecting from social pressures to live a "normal" life.
I find this definition interesting because is sounds to me like the definition of loving life itself. Recognizing that life is precious and can be taken away at any moment tends to focus us on each moment and make us aware of its value.
Regularly connecting with oneself leads to more deeply understanding ourselves and what we value. Disconnecting from social pressures to live a "normal" life provides the freedom to follow our deeper understanding and express our values.
The article said you should live your own life and your soul mate will show up. I'd like to add that we have no idea when this will happen and we'll "know" our soul mate when we are engaged in loving life (or the Love Lifestyle).
The Fernandez's also remind us that a soul mate should be a bonus not a goal. I agree and point out that taking this perspective requires accepting the possibility that finding our soul mate will be a long time in coming. Their recommendations for living your own life are:
Never regret love. No matter how blind, it improved your world view. No matter how foolish, it made you wiser. And no matter how generous, it made you more.
Answers given to readers' questions, as well as suggestions in the rest of the newsletter News from Center for Clarity, are given as general information. They are not meant to replace face-to-face therapy with a professional person. The reader agrees to hold Center for Clarity/Jenny Friend harmless from any use of the information and suggestions.
My boyfriend loves girl-on-top, but I don't have a lot of experience with the position. Any tips?
Female dominant (girl-on-top) has a lot of advantages for you when you can get him to lay still. This position usually offers you the deepest possible penetration. You can move as deeply and slowly as you want adjusting your hips to reach whatever places feel good to you.
Doing squats as part of your physical fitness program will help you master this position. You can then squat across him and have complete control.
Kneeling across him rather than squatting tends to be a little less strenuous, gives you a slightly different angle and sacrifices minimal control.
You can also hang onto the headboard, his shoulders or an overhanging bar to help move yourself up and down. You cal also leave your hands free to stimulate yourself or him wherever you can reach.
Whatever you do, have fun!
Coming Soon to CenterForClarity.org