September 2012 - More on Supercharging Your Sex Life
Options Provide Choice
News from the
I don't know about you, but even with regular breaks, I'm usually ready to be done with a computer screen after two or three hours. With all the stuff I already do on the computer, adding all my clients and other kinds of things, it seemed just too much. But it's what I want to do to free me from an office.
Finally I think I'm on my way to solving it completely. It was time to revamp my computer system anyway, so I went full out and got what I really wanted - a 27 inch screen I can see from across the room with wireless everything so I can be comfortable and still work. Plus, with the advice, guidance and technical support of an old friend, it didn't break the bank.
This experience has the same underlying structure as solving most problems in life; find the right time, look beyond the possibilities and barriers previously identified for new possibilities, seek support to explore/research these possibilities, create a plan, execute the plan, celebrate. Relationship and sexual problems/issues are not exception.
The author of the article introduced last month, Supercharge Your Sex Life: 11 Ways to Get Your Drive into High Gear, is attempting to offer new possibilities for many of the common problems around a slumping sex life. Each recommendation has multiple ways to achieve it so the possibilities expand even more. It's just a matter of picking some that easily fit into your life and being conscious of using them.
Jenny Friend, MFT
Center for Clarity
Sacred Sexual Educator
Sensual Adult Toy Expert
Hear Sex and Relationship
Coming back live, soon!!
This month we're talking more about the article introduced last month, Supercharge Your Sex Life: 11 Ways to Get Your Drive into High Gear. If you missed it, check it out here. We'll start with the first four ways, reviewing what the author said and adding my thoughts. We'll finish them up over the next few months.
Next month we'll look at three or four more ways the article suggests to supercharge your sex lives. We'll finish the last ones in November just in time for end of the year celebrations and New Year's resolutions. But you don't have to wait that long to start using your new knowledge.
There's always more than one right answer, path, possibility, nuance or flavor - so insisting on any one always limits you, especially in the sensual and sexual arenas.
Answers given to readers' questions, as well as suggestions in the rest of the newsletter News from Center for Clarity, are given as general information. They are not meant to replace face-to-face therapy with a professional person. The reader agrees to hold Center for Clarity/Jenny Friend harmless from any use of the information and suggestions.
I have been going out with my boyfriend for 6 months, but he can't
get me to orgasm using both finger and oral stimulation. I do
masturbate and I can climax every time I do, but he can't get me to.
Is it because I masturbate too much that he can't? Any help and
suggestions would be fantastic.
I doubt your masturbating has anything to do with it. Without any more information than furnished in your letter, my guess would be that he doesn't get you off either:
1) He doesn't know how to stimulate you in a way you like or are used to;
2) You feel tense with him and tense your body; or
3) Some combination of the two.
I suggest you examine your emotional experience when you're with him. Are you a little bit nervous, tense or uncomfortable? Is there an expectation or fear you'll be frustrated? If so, learn some relaxation techniques and work with your frustration. Consider professional help.
Do you show him how and where to touch you? Showing him and giving him verbal cues or directions can be helpful. Do you feel comfortable doing this? if not, learn some relaxation techniques and work with your discomfort. Consider professional help.
Good Luck, Jenny
Coming Soon ...