December 2012 - Enjoying that Supercharged Sex Life

Information Allows for Clarity 

 News from the
Center for Clarity

Making Choices for Relationship

insite in prk 1
Happy Holidays! What a time of year.

       I've always found it interesting for many reasons. As a kid, of course, I was fascinated by the lights, the decorations, the noise, and the presents. Later I began to notice how people changed and I was fascinated by people watching.

       Then I began recognizing the differences in belief systems surrounding this time of year. I'm still learning about these and the implications they have for shaping thought, language and history are fascinating. Of course, I learned about the astrological and geographical events that underpin this time of year in school; the Winter Solstice being on the day with the least light and the longest night of the year.

       Those of you who have been reading News from the Center for Clarity for a while are familiar with my writings on celebrating the Winter Solstice, renewal or beginning again. I've been very aware of this for several years and have appreciated using it as an excuse to renew relationships through intimate experiences of sharing, touching and appreciating.

         I've used the last couple of years of News from the Center for Clarity to review articles on connecting and sexuality in the popular press and put my two cents in. The main article below is the fifth in a series. It offers ideas for ways to use some of the suggestions I've made in the first four articles not only to help you feel like you want to be intimate more often but to get more intimate in the moment. In January we'll move onto a new article to start out the new year.

         Feel free to use any information that fits for you and pass on to others anything you think they can use. Make comments and ask questions by email at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or by visiting Any identifying information will be removed for publication.




Main Article - Wrapping up these Tips for Supercharging Your Sex Life - This month we're wrapping up the from the article ... 9. Keep Yourself Hydrated ... (more)

Hot Tip! - How you feel in your heart can show up in your body, for your heart and body ... (more)

Questions and Comments - Is there a difference between an orgasm and cumming, or as some men say, "busting a nut"?

... (more)

Quick Links

Center for Clarity

Sacred Sexual Educator
and Mentor
Ayanna Mojica

Adult Educator
Dr. Anastas Harris

Sensual Adult Toy Expert
CJ Zucker
website under construction

Professional Dancer
Edith Aboul-hosn

Hear Sex and Relationship
Q&A's with Jenny
Radio for Clarity

Happy Holiday Season!


No Matter What You Call Your Holiday





celebrating winter soltice


Or How You Celebrate


May You Find Joy and Peace and
Feel Hope for the Future


Best Wishes Always,




plyg on bch


       This month, we're wrapping up our article, Supercharge Your Sex Life: 11 Ways to Get Your Drive into High Gear. If you missed any of the previous articles on tthis, get them here:

   August        September         October        November

To wrap it up, I want to give you some ideas for getting double duty out of the tips. I'll offer ways to not only help you feel like you want to be intimate more often, but to get more intimate in the moment.

  1. Make finger foods out of your favorite libido-boosting foods seasoned with your favorite libido-boosting spices (uses tips 1 and 2 - read original discussion). Have a light meal from these by feeding each other. Make it more fun by doing it in the nude and practicing your nonverbal skills by not talking and depending on those skills to get what you want. For an example, listen to Hot and Healthy Sex Radio's Make Sharing a Meal REALLY Hot! episode. Listen Here
  2. Include hot or iced coffee and/or green tea with your meal and keep tea handy for hydrating breaks (uses tip 4 - read original discussion).
  3. Slash your sugar intake but keep the great taste and attitude enhancement by switching to healthy chocolate (uses tip 5 - read original discussion). Why would you need any other sweets?
  4. Combine tips 6 and 7. They aren't mutually exclusive. One way to combine them is sexercise (listen to Hot and Healthy Sex Radio show "Sexercise can be Hot Exercise" (link) for a complete explanation). This will help you with tip 8, too! (read original discussions) Find other tips for foreplay throughout the previous editions of News from the Center for Clarity.
  5. Keeping hydrated is always important and during exertion (like lovemaking) it's especially important (uses tip 9 - read original discussion). Having a water bottle handy then is just as easy as when your out for a run and it's a really good time to damp cloths around for cooling your bodies.
  6. Add stress reducing activities to foreplay to not only make lovemaking more enjoyable but also to get more stress reduction from lovemaking (uses tips 10 and 7 (read original discussions -   10  and  7  )). Things like taking a playful shower or Jacuzzi together will also work nicely here.
  7. There are a whole range of sex toys out there. (tip 11 - read original discussion). They can be used for every part of the process from stress reduction to foreplay to orgasm. You can get them for hard to reach spots like the g-spot and prostate, hands free ones like the butterfly for the clitoris or vibrating cockings, and even remote control ones. Walk through a store sometimes, look around and ask questions. Don't be shy but if you are look on the internet. You can find discussions on many of them there, too.


      Keep your eyes on News from the Center for Clarity all throughout 2013 for more information, tips and suggestions. Relationships can stay arousing and satisfying.


Hot Tip!

    There are no challenges, issues, or crises that do not contain within them seeds of opportunity that could not have otherwise existed.
    - The Universe


Relationship and sexual issues are not an exception to the rule.

Readers' Questions and Comments

Answers given to readers' questions, as well as suggestions in the rest of the newsletter News from Center for Clarity, are given as general information. They are not meant to replace face-to-face therapy with a professional person. The reader agrees to hold Center for Clarity/Jenny Friend harmless from any use of the information and suggestions.


Dear Jenny

"Recently my wife asked me to wear high heels (5" stilettos), a garter belt and nylons, which matched hers when we made love. I found it interesting and we had great sex. It really aroused me and each time we do it I get more aroused. I think I am addicted. Am I crazy"?

Thanks, Ron

Hi Ron,

    Are you crazy for enjoying new kinds of feelings and sensations? No. Novelty in and of itself can heighten the enjoyment of many things. You're not crazy for liking the feel of silk, the freedom of a garter belt or the sense of being elevated and shown off, either.

     Are you addicted to this kind of sex? That depends on several things:

  • Does your wife continue to enjoy it as much as you do?
  • Do you still have sex without the accessories?
  • Can you still have sex without the accessories?

   A "yes" to all of these certainly implies there's no problem. Enjoy.

   A "no" to any of them implies there COULD be a problem of greater or lesser degree now or brewing. In that case, it's time to change something.

Good luck and have fun, Jenny


Want to Talk?


Come See Me at:   

 My Physical office:
 2900 Bristol St. #A-207
 Costa Mesa, CA   92626





                    My Virtual Office at: 





012  012-croppeed-more


Call  714-210-9200
to set up one or both



Jenny Friend
Center for Clarity

Hours and Payment Options

By Appointment

Monday – Thursday 9 am to 8 pm   
Friday – Saturday 9 am to 2 pm
2900 Bristol St., Bldg. A Ste. 207
Costa Mesa, California 92626

Payment Methods:
Cash, Check, VISA, MC, AX, PayPal and Many Insurance Plans. Consult your Preferred Providers list.

Want to get together but ... ?

JennyFriendMFT is my Skype Name